“I got my tits all hard to get a Mac computer.”
—HITMAN
June 2013
2 posts
“Part of the problem is I used to wake up and take a crap in the morning… I’m usually free of debris when I go on the air.”
—HITMAN
May 2013
1 post
“I guess I would like to see two cats f$():’g. That would be interesting.”
—The HITMAN (after asking me if cats have balls…)
April 2013
10 posts
“I need a pedicure. My feet hurt.”
—HITMAN
“If it’s my sister’s son, does that make me his…uncle?”
—Hitman
anonymous asked: Yo, when are the CEOs of these big corporations that took all these huge government bailouts being asked to take drug tests to prove they aren’t spending it all on drugs??
Weird, it’s almost like right-wing assholes only care about that stuff when it’s poor people who have to be held to a higher standard.
Nipples
“I think my man nips are showing. I don’t like that.” —Hitman
She can’t even grow a fungus.
March 2013
2 posts
“I should probably take a shit.”
—HITMAN
“It’s not pink. It’s salmon.”
—Hitman. (on men wearing pink shirts)
January 2013
2 posts
“It’s huge on Nick at Nite.”
—Hitman.
“I’ve had this blackhead on my back for years. Three different wives have tried to get it out.”
—Hitman.
November 2012
4 posts
“All fat b*itch#s have nice nails.”
—Hitman
“Like I’m gonna hold a freakin’ orange down to get some juice out of it!”
—Hitman (his sister bought him a juicer one Christmas)
“So that was our daily 7:30 argument. I love it. I schedule my arguments with you like I schedule my sh*ts.”
—Hitman
